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Why Women Like to Shop Alone

Here's proof of what can happen when a woman drags her highly disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British hypermart to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued patronage and use of our store loyalty card, the manager of our store is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of just some of the offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras:

  • 15 Jun: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
  • 2 Jul: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five-minute intervals.
  • 14 Aug: Moved a "Caution — Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
  • 4 Oct: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose.
  • 18 Dec: Hid in a clothing rack and yelled, "Pick me, pick me!"
  • 23 Dec: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly: "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,
Store manager